General Discussion The Lighter Side of League

Discussion in 'General Warriors Discussion' started by Miket12, Dec 11, 2017.

  1. Miket12
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    Miket12 Warriors 1st Grader

    Different sport but in my last year in high school we had a Dutch foreign exchange student in our hockey team who played in the pivotal centre half role. He kept getting sent off for swearing until we explained to the umpires he was actually calling for a "switch" in play - and not calling anyone a "bitch". Last I heard of him, many, many moons ago, he was a non-travelling reserve for the Dutch Olympic hockey team.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2017
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  2. Hardyman's Yugo
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    Hardyman's Yugo 1st Grade Fringe

    Another ancient tale, this one from the 1920's. Grandads village team (he was about 10 years old) got into the preliminaries of the Challenge Cup and drew the mighty Wigan away. He had only ever seen amateur league before, no professional clubs in the county then, so his team were the pinnacle of RL in his eyes. He'd read about Wigan though.

    Some people in the village went to the game and came back to tell the tale of the 116-0 drubbing, Jim Sullivan kicked 22 goals. The tale was embellished a little by the claim that one of the few people in the village who had a car changed the registration plate to OL 116.

    I grew up on this stuff!
     
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  3. snake77
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    snake77 Warriors 1st Grader

    I like to tease my rugby loving mates when they debate the tackle ball area in rugby. A topic often heard on the radio, endless debates about getting the ball out instead of stuck in a ruck.

    I like to tell them I have a solution that isn't often talked about. Now I tackle you right, I get up and you get up. Then you put the ball on the ground and push it behind you with your foot to one of your teammates.

    The looks I often get is. Your a cheeky bastard. Gets them every time though.:p
     
  4. Worried2Death
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    Worried2Death 1st Grade Fringe

    A lot of skinny Jewish Maori blokes might relate to this (there are about 3 of us in the whole race) - back in '80's Aranui in the Chch Easts under 10's, I was a pretty good prop, destined for immortality. But by the time I was 12 all the Poly boys were suddenly twice as tall as me and three times as wide. I had a smart mouth so I got good at running away real fast, and coach stuck me on the wing. Opposition forwards used to run at me from the middle of the park to "smash that little cunt". We scored a lot of tries using this tactic because they were easy to step when your life depends on it. Something for SK to consider when they're working out what to do with Kenny M. A forward is not a wing, their psychology and motivations are like different species. I had the honour of being smashed by big Steve in Welly back when he looked like a giraffe with a giant head. I vaguely remember calling him a Frankenstein looking freak, and he McCrackened nearly every bone in my body. Later on him and Monty became my alltime favourite Warriors, after Cliff Beverley of course.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2017
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  5. Defence
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    Defence 1st Grade Fringe

    He stole my kiwi flag after a test match in chch at QE2- I wanted him to sign it but he just said "thanks son" and walked off waving it.
     
  6. Worried2Death
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    Worried2Death 1st Grade Fringe

    Was it Mooks
     
  7. RiceOwl
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    RiceOwl 1st Grade Fringe

    Recently I went to watch my mates son play in under 8s for the Ponsonby Ponies vs Glenora Bears at the domain. After what was a great game the bears got in the huddle and started their chant with "give me a b, B! Give me an e, E! Give me an a, A! Give me an r, R! Give me an s, S! and what does that spell? BEARS!". My mates sons coach was a really good old fella who the kids loved and he wanted to outdo the bears team so off he went - "Give me a p, P! Give me an o, O! Give me an n, N! Give me an i, I! Give me an s, S! What does that spell!?" And all the parents on the sideline were like Ponis??! Then started cracking up. Maybe it was one of the ones you have had to have been there for, but was a laugh at the time for sure.
     
  8. snake77
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    snake77 Warriors 1st Grader

    This may end up being a bit long and I hopefully I do this crazy few hours justice. I know a big wall of text will probably lead you to skip it but please at least start and if it keeps you interested carry on.



    Our under 15s organised to do a weights session. So all day at school we were either all keen to turn up for training. Hey a bunch of 15 year olds full of testosterone and no idea how weight training works all we thought was it would be a chance to prove how strong we are and also work on the guns to impress the girls.

    We turn up at our main training ground which was our meeting point. We need to get down to the coaches mates place where he had his gym. Our coach who was a hard arse the previous year in under 13s didn't really seem into it anymore. My explanation for what happens later. We turn up and straight away he complains that we are probably late and his mate expects us at a specific time and we have all messed up. Chances are he never organised it and he can deflect it back on the 15 year olds.

    So we start running around town to his mates gym. The whole time our coach is in our face telling us "You think your strong, you can't lift shit" or "You pricks are so slow he'll be gone by the time we get there" or "If I wasn't on this bike I'd out pace you slow bitches".

    We get there and his mate isn't there. So one of my mates who has had enough of the league club being so unorganized compared to the local union clubs decides he's had enough. The coach a maori (need to mention otherwise you may thing this quote was made from a racist white fella) yells out "I better not see your black arse down at that spacey parlour". Not that really matters seeing as he's quit on his own. Anyway I'm thinking great now we've lost a player and I'm going have to talk him around tomorrow at school.:banghead:

    So weights are off. Lucky for us the gym is across from our school so we go across and do a training session. This guy all his training sessions used to be just play touch and tell us we're shit and his next move will show us how great he is. So not playing touch and working on defense is a bit of a surprise. His idea is we have a defensive line and he'll pass the ball to one of us to run into the line and get smashed.

    Straight away one of my mates points out he is injured. So now he passes the ball to the coach who passes it to one of us to run in and get smashed. I'm pretty sure there was no pretend play the balls so if you are thinking that is one pass more than is required you would be right.:confused:

    So this goes on for a little bit and one of the guys runs off by the class rooms to get a drink. He gets berated with "Get back here you fat useless...........", a predictably inaudible response comes back as you would expect from an exhausted 15 year old pushing 130kgs.

    After a while one of the guys messes up the run back pass the ball to injured player and passes it to our coach instead. He was looking in another direction and turns around to get the ball hitting him in the head. This provides some laughter to us 15 year old boys. Angry coach berates players and then turns around. NOT in time as our injured player had passed him the ball too early and it hits him in the nuts keeling the coach over.:wideyed: Any young ball would laugh at someone being hit in the balls so we all go off like a bunch of little kids in hysterics.

    This is one thing too much for our coach who takes a ball off our injured team mate leaving him with a confused look on his face. He then yells "Give me my ball I'm going home"....................................................<<<< Yes that is right we made our coach take his ball and go home like a little kid not getting his way in a backyard game.

    He then jumps the fence calls us a bunch of useless c@nt$ or F**K these guys and "I'm going home". All the while his shit bike the chain is coming off the krank making these loud grinding sounds and making it damn awkward to ride.

    Anyway we all look at each other confused at the previous run of events:confused: and also do we have coach, a team and will we play any games this year.:(

    This did provide some amusement replaying these events the next few years. Me and one guy in particular good see each other walking between classes or at opposite sides of the school yard. We would both be in hysterics yelling "Give me my ball" which would then get us nearly in tears yelling "He got on his shit bike and nearly fell off yelling I'll take my ball and go" or "I better not see you at the spacies"

    To cut the rest short we had to organise training sessions ourselves which was hard convincing everyone to turn up. One day a guy turns up if we used to be <retracted's> old team. He says he's his mate and he's from the club lets go up and talk to him. We get up to his house stand on the foot path, he goes up to the house where the coaches girl friend answers the door and then disappears. Our coach comes out takes one look at us and yells "F them c@nt$" and goes back inside the house. That was last I ever saw of him.

    The guy that turned up to our training we never saw him again but he did organise for us to have a new coach which we kept for the rest of the year.:D He was also a bit of a character.:cool:
     
  9. snake77
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    snake77 Warriors 1st Grader

    This one will be a lot shorter. Our under 13s all we did for training was play touch.

    We were the only club to make a Grand Final that year so the week of the final our coach organises another coach to run us through some drills. Chances are he was either working and couldn't make it, stoned or thankful he can pass us idiots off to someone else.

    This guy turns up runs us through some drills. A comedy show is the best way to explain what happens next with guys passing to their left instead of right or vice versa, throwing shit passes, dropping the ball constantly and running into each other.

    STOP he yells. He then looks at us confused "How did you guys make the finals your useless".

    I think he asked what we usually do at training. Play touch we tell him. Giving up on his skills session he's planned out we start playing touch. Later he shakes his head as the idiots who couldn't catch, pass etc earlier all look like different people.
     
  10. Trugoy
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    Trugoy 1st Grade Fringe

    Played a game in the early nineties in a local Brisbane comp for an Open age C Grade team. It was a mate of a mates team and i filled in for a game as they were desperate for numbers (played under another guys name). I was still playing A grade age group footy and most of these guys were older but it was a pretty casual division so i thought maybe i might slot onto the wing for a run. Started on the bench.
    Anyway, they ran riot in the first half. They had this gun 5/8 who was untouchable, scored a couple and set up a few too. Was thinking to myself "how is this guy not playing first grade?" They had a couple of solid forwards too, and a huge centre who was smashing blokes. Couldn't believe all these guys were playing C Grade.
    Anyway halftime came I hadn't got on the field yet so was raring to get amongst the demolition job that we were unleashing. The score was 28 nil!!
    There were no sheds at the ground so we went down to the far end of the field, which was next to bush, for oranges.
    The boys are in great spirits.
    The spirits were so good in fact that the hooker pulls a joint out of his bag and lights it. I couldn't believe my eyes as he proceeds to pass it on to the next guy. Next thing i know, the gun 5/8 is lighting another joint. Pretty much the whole team has a toke or 2. (bar me and about 3 others)
    I was stunned!! hahaha
    Being down this end of the field we were quite far away from the few spectators, and the other team and officials were way up the other end, but i just kept looking around going "Whhaaaaat??!" LOL
    So anyway, i start the second half.. AT 5/8! The gun didn't even come back out, he went home after halftime!
    Suffice to say, as the old saying goes "A game of 2 halves"...the team ended up losing 30-28.
    To top it off, i copped a bad corked thigh about 5 minutes from full-time, which kept me out of my club game the next day.
    My mate ended up telling me that the team didn't last the season due to lack of numbers.
    Definitely the most unique game i was ever a part of. :D
     
  11. razzrillinger
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    razzrillinger 1st Grade Fringe

    There must be so many players who could have been guns out there taking it easy in lower grades or not playing at all.
     
  12. ArtySubs
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    ArtySubs Warriors Bench Player

    Short story- 16 years old having a mixed fun day with the affiliated netball team, enjoying the day as that year the netball girls were fiiinnnee!!! Team sitting together on the ground yarning when we look over to see the netball girls looking over and pointing towards our winger who was a bit of a stud all standing there whispering and giggling, rest of the team thinking shit he’s scored again jammy bastard!
    Anyway he notices and gets cockier and cockier.
    One of the girls was in my class and waved me over to talk to her so off I trot expecting to get the usual...is he single...so and so likes your mate blah blah blah.
    I went over to the group of girls and had a chat and then went back to our winger this time I had a big smile on my face and at the top of my voice I repeated what the girls told me....
    “ Tell your mate to close his legs because there’s a hole in his undies and one of his balls is hanging out the side of his stubbies “
     
  13. Hardyman's Yugo
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    Hardyman's Yugo 1st Grade Fringe

    Off topic but you've reminded me of something a famous former UK TV commentator, David Coleman, once said. 1976 Olympic 800m final was won by a Cuban called Alberto Juantorena and as he pulled away from the field on the home straight Coleman came out with 'Juantorena opens his legs and shows his class!' He never quite lived that one down
     
  14. Gizzyfan
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    Gizzyfan Warriors 1st Grader

    There was an All Black print game report in the paper where Bryan William showed amazing power in both Testes.
     
  15. Hardyman's Yugo
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    Hardyman's Yugo 1st Grade Fringe

    Imagine being a supporter of top German football team Borussia Moenchengladbach.
    Geben sie uns ein 'B'
     
  16. The Truth
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    The Truth 1st Grade Fringe

    Hey guys.
    Nice thread. Not sure where to put this but you guys seem to know a lot about the Auckland scene in the 70’s. Just got me thinking.

    I was an Aussie kid that had no idea about league until I moved to nz when I was 8.

    Back then the winfield cup was the Comp to follow. There really wasn’t much league being played but it sure was popular around the school.
    Anyway, ended up playing union right through school but always preferred to watch league until pretty much giving up union once the warriors became my team.

    I remember fondly of going to my grandfathers house on grand final day and having a bbq with my grandfather and family. He was a coach in Auckland, can’t remember if it was north shore or Richmond but would love to hear from anyone that knew him.
    His name was graham fletcher and he passed away before I could really talk to him about his time in league.
    Knew he was passionate for the game and still have a few old Jerseys of his that were given to me by my grandmother when he passed.
    Any information would be awesome.
     
  17. bruce
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    bruce Warriors 1st Grader Contributor

    Great story brother. I wonder if it was North Shore. I cannot place his name but North Shore was a club I had very little to do with.
     
  18. Gizzyfan
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    Gizzyfan Warriors 1st Grader

    Und being Deutshe zey vill finish ze chant
     
  19. The Truth
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    The Truth 1st Grade Fringe

    Thanks mate.
    Am pretty sure it was north shore.
    Cheers
     
  20. Hardyman's Yugo
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    Hardyman's Yugo 1st Grade Fringe

    Anyone who wants a real good laugh about Rugby league and the characters involved, get a copy of this if you can:

    Media has been hidden. Please Register to view.

    There is a sample version available on the web published on google books for anyone that wants a taster. Link has been hidden. Please Register to view.

    I've read it numerous times, plenty of full on laugh out loud moments including a tale of pissed up Aussies playing for Halifax (Anderson, Hagen and others)
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2017